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How to have a weak, average, and un-athletic body

Building a strong, shredded, athletic body is brutally hard work. It’s much easier to pack it in, follow the crowd and be average, weak, and un-athletic.  The sad part is most people are fine with average, until finally, they snap. They get sick of it and go all in, making a change for the better. 

If you want to be average do the things listed below. Want to be a better, happier version of yourself? Avoid these things like deadlifts at Planet Fitness and start making some real headway in the gym.

Let’s get to it. 

don't blend in, be different.

Don’t lift heavy weights. You’re not training to be a strongman anyways. Besides,  the pump is the only way a muscle grows.

Change your routine every week. Muscle confusion bro’!

Don’t Track progress. Besides, you’re changing workouts every week to do that “muscle confusion thing.” Body fat percentage, tracking strength gains, and analyzing your training is too hard anyways.

Focus on Curls, lateral raises, and calves. Cuz they’re my weak points that need bringing up. Sorry junior, you’re going to stay “junior” if you don’t seriously focus on strength in major compound lifts like squats, deadlifts, and chin-ups.

Compare yourself to everyone else. if you’re not first you’re last, right?

 Don’t Eat Fruits and Vegetables. There’s not enough calories to support training. Besides, vitamins and minerals aren’t vital for chemical reactions that control every physiological process in the body.

Neglect Sleep. “ I didn’t sleep well” is a great excuse for every lackluster workout, meeting, or day. Besides, why sleep when you get to  drink 67 Red Bulls, a few pre-workouts and be ready to take on the world? Nonsense, hack your sleep and get back on track.

Stronger, shredded, athletic
Gimme za red bull

Circuit Everything! supersets and giant sets are more time efficient, but you need rest to drive up strength levels and improve performance. 

Never sprint, cut, jump, throw or crawl.  You’re not training for sports these skills aren’t important anymore.

Warm-Up? Nah bro I’m hawt. Staying healthy, maximizing training performance, and preparing the body for a long and prosperous training career isn’t important. #YOLO


stronger, shredded, more athletic
photocredit: knowyourmeme.com


Focus on bulking… all day everyday! You need a caloric surplus to gain muscle and plenty of nutrients to support training, but your body needs a break. Try cycling calories and carbohydrates to support your training needs. Try this.

Rely On Supplements for all your nutritional gains.  Science is mixed at best for most supplements. Plus, pills and powders are more convenient.
Here’s a tip… eat real, high-quality food. If you want to see what works check out the Examine Supplement Guide for no-B.S.  research driven information.

GO BEASTMODE EVERYDAY. Okay, you need to work hard, but turn it down every now and then. Seriously, chill out, take a deload week and let your body heal. Without recovery there is no adaptation. With no adaptation there is no growth. Train, recover, adapt=> Strong, shredded, and athletic.

Yea, this is a sarcastic list, but it serves as a reminder for those trying to build a strong, shredded, and athletic body.  Take advantage of the day and do something to build your dreams.

photo credit: davidwhitedesign via photopin cc

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